LOVE LETTER TO LUCIFER
"For an attempt of such nature, no better title could ever be found than the one chosen. "Lucifer" is the pale morning-star, the precursor of the full blaze of the noonday sun—the "Eosphoros" of the Greeks. No fitter symbol exists for the proposed work—that of throwing a ray of truth on everything hidden by the darkness of prejudice; by social or religious misconceptions; especially by that idiotic routine in life, which, once that a certain action, a thing, a name, has been branded by slanderous inventions, however unjust, makes respectable people, so-called, turn away shiveringly, refusing to even look at it from any other aspect than the one sanctioned by public opinion. Such an endeavor then, to force the weak-hearted to look truth straight in the face, is helped most efficaciously by a title belonging to the category of branded names." - Helena P. Blavatsky
Dear Lucifer,
I realize that you don't exist, that there is no "two," there is just one, just Oneness. You are me, and I am you.
But I still choose to write on this subject in a form of a dialogue between seemingly separate "you" and "me" (or "us", humans), in a form of personal Love letter, because, truly, this is nothing else but a letter of and for Love. Unconditional Love, which we often seem to lack.
I apologize.
I apologize for all the ignorance and hatred that we sent your way since the dawn of the first human civilization. That all you ever sensed from us was despising and fear, or in some cases - a desire to get something from "you" to please our ego.
Unlike us, you know no Ego. You have sacrificed your "reputation" by having chosen the most unattractive mask, the most unattractive work anyone can ever do for Humanity.
How big must be your love for us if you've chosen to play the role that the whole world will despise forever and ever, till the end of humankind? You have been doing your work for eons, showing people the hurtful side of life, the darkest shades of it, showing us the opposite of Truth, the Illusion - thus serving the Oneness perfectly by being the contrast that illuminates the Light better and makes the road to it brighter and more visible for us.
You do this even though you know we will never love you, will never see you for who you are, will never see past your "ugly" surface or "devilish" appearance, which will make us run away from you in fear, terror, and disgust.
I apologize that we don't want to be responsible for having all those negative feelings and inclinations inside of us, and thus we need to project them to the outside, and so we created you - a "separate entity" with malicious intentions who makes us have these negative thoughts.
We didn't want to be responsible so we created this idea about you and called it a Devil.
We blame you for being the one who prevents us from doing the "right" things, who tries to push us off the right path, who whispers all the bad things into our ears, who tricks us and makes us choose to be weak and do ugly things. Like this, we excuse ourselves and our ignorant deeds. We keep this fantasy about you, we keep writing books about you, we keep making movies about you, we keep teaching our kids about you, and we keep believing this fantasy. Otherwise, we would have to face the truth that we are the creators of that all, and we can and should do something about it.
I apologize that we believe that Light and Darkness have opposite goals, thinking that Light moves us towards "God" and goodness, while Darkness wants us to "fall" and get lost in misbehavior. We divide, perceive the world in duality, and don't want to see that both Light and Darkness are serving the One equally, that both Light and Darkness—or "God" and "Devil"—are doing the same job and have the same purpose. We don't realize that if we didn't experience "false" and "evil," we wouldn't understand "truth" and "goodness." We wouldn't grasp their depth and beauty; we wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it.
I apologize that it is too hard for us to accept that you are a tool, a step on the way to Goodness, a transition to it. That struggle, death, and pain are inevitable parts of Life, chosen by us and for us to give individual souls that extra impulse, that opportunity to rise above them, thus speeding up our evolvement as conscious humans.
If you didn't provide us with the tools of contrast, with the tools of what we perceive as negative, with struggles and pains, we would never be able to discover what we are not, and the capacity of our full spiritual potential - knowing who we all are.
We would never find the ability or strength to take the huge step needed to break through within our own psyche and soul, to move toward the goodness, to find in our own depths of darkness the treasures of more awareness, more acceptance, more love, more strength, more of Ourselves.
"Darkness" is the opportunity to Rise—seemingly not for "everybody", it is true, but for those who are ready. And those of "us" who are not ready, who don't find that potential and choose not to rise but to stay in darkness or even fall further down into it—this is our choice and not "your" malicious deed. I apologize that sometimes we forget that we do have a Choice. And I apologize that sometimes we choose darkness because it can be easier, and we are weak.
Sometimes we choose to stay in the darkness and enjoy it, making excuses for our choices. We say this is karma, we say destiny, we say devil's work… we say whatever we have to say to not feel the responsibility for our own lack of desire to evolve.
We don't see your precious gift in disguise, a gift without which we will never be able to rise above our limitations and enlighten our inner darkness. We don't see your gift and we forget that, in any situation, we can always choose to rise or to fall or to not move at all. If there's anything I could call Free Will in this life, it would be this.
This Free Will can lead us to use evil, pain, and destruction as an exuse to become bitter and angrier, or as a trampoline for a new spiral of ascending. Evil is nothing but an opportunity, an instrument to use in order to grow, peel off the parts of ourselves that need to be peeled off, and get closer to our pure truest Self.
We blame you for pain.
We hate pain and struggle and run away from it, forgetting that the spiritual path is weaved from that pain, that each step on the path is painful. It is painful to tear our illusions, prejudices, and ignorance from ourselves, as they became part of us long ago, and when we tear these parts away, it hurts. It doesn't mean we need to choose to stay in pain, but only that we can choose to use it wisely if it's suddenly there. Sometimes the intensity of this pain seems to exceed our human capacity to handle it, but this process of ripping away is needed in order to destroy all false parts of our false identity and make space for a new understanding, a new awareness of who we truly are, and to bring us to a next level of our evolution.
I apologize that our ability to distinguish is so distorted that we don't see goodness in adversity and don't see failure in what our Ego craves and achieves. So often do we call the Illusion – "Life". We call Ego – "Love". We call Lie – "Truth". We call Right – "Wrong".
And we call Evil – your name "Lucifer", which translates as a "Light-bearer", a Bringer of Dawn, a guiding Morning Star that shows the true way for all those who are on the Path towards Light. We managed to turn your name into something opposite to what it really is, and look at this world from the up side down. Through the eyes of fear, and not of Love.
I apologize that we forgot how to love this life. To love more, until our love embraces even the dark sides of it, and that then and only then we will know what Love is: a glue that holds the duality together and reconciles it, as there can be no two opposites without a third force in which they both coexist. And this force is Love.
I apologize that we forgot how to love others, and blame "you" or "fate" for getting us into "bad" and karmic relationships that connects us with what we call "wrong" people full of "shit" — or so we think, when in reality these were the right people for that exact moment, the wounded people, just as we are, which is exactly the reason we were attracted to them. This attraction is our subconscious desire to heal the wounds of others and to get healed ourselves, to bring more light into the dark corners of our psyche, to release the destructive mind patterns, and to learn to love and trust ourselves and others more – or, having learned our lesson, to be able to lovingly leave and move on if those relationships start to suppress the light within us and our right to shine. We are all truly the teachers of each other, no matter how tough the lesson seems to be.
I am grateful.
I am grateful that you taught me to experience Life more fully and with more gratitude.
"Devil".. Isn't it you who reminds us of "God"'s existence - something we often forget when things are great and smooth? Isn't it you and your "power" that in a moment of despair brings us to our knees, makes us humble and makes us finally turn our heads up, calling for something bigger than our own little egos, calling for God?
We learn better and go to God at much quicker pace when you manifest yourself in our lives.
I am grateful that you taught me that things are not always as they seem.
Looking at you - I learned that I need to develop my own ability to distinguish between "good" and "bad", to look deeper under the surface of social stereotypes, to free myself, to love more and fear less.
Because of learning how to look at you, I also learn how to look deeper into other's human's soul long enough, until everything in him that seemed "wrong" or "devilish" to me transforms and changes, changing my perception of that and changing myself for better. You try to teach me how to accept people's destructive inclinations, how to love the wounds of others as well as accept those of my own.
I am grateful that, looking at your face, I learned how to see beyond the visible surface, beyond the seemingly unattractive appearance, beyond the prejudice and personal preferences, beyond the social misconceptions, and see deeper into the essence of the other human's soul. You dispel the darkness of my intolerance, the rejection of things I fear or don't understand. You make me see the world and every aspect of it with a little bit more loving eyes.
I am grateful that you teach me how to not turn my face away in disgust, to not run from my worst nightmares, to not close my eyes when I see all the pain and struggle of this World, but to instead cultivate love and kindness, and make actions based on this feeling.
You revealed to me that you are not what we people believe you are — for, if you were, I would never have been able to learn so many beautiful and kind things from you. I wouldn't be able to share this message of compassion, kindness, and goodness with others if your intentions were malicious.
As long as something we connect with makes us a better person; makes us more compassionate and kind, more forgiving and more open; makes us love more and have less ego; makes us more caring and less arrogant, make us more loving and less fearful — then this connection is divine.
I am grateful that you made me experience that there are many paths to Light, many ways and roads to Oneness, that they are all true as long as they get us to our destination.
I am grateful that you help me to look at each negative event as a chance, an opportunity, a help from the Universe to get closer to more awareness and understanding. You help me see that Darkness is capable of encouraging and inspiring us, as humans with the right of choice, to use it as we wish.
And that in order for "you" to disappear from my psyche, I should replace the rejection of you with Love - love for you, love for the Creator and for all the forces, seemingly negative and seemingly positive, that are in play in this Universe and inside Me.
I am grateful you taught me the most important lesson I could have ever learned: that Love is the one and only weapon that protects us from failing and falling, the only compass that points to the true North of our self-expression in this world.
I am grateful to you that I succeed in using this weapon of Love that made you cease to exist in my mind. As was so truly said by Milarepa, the Tibetan Buddhist saint of the 11th century, "What appears as a demon, what is called a demon, what is recognized as a demon, exists within a human being himself and disappears with him."
And finally, I am grateful to you that this has raised a very important question in me, the one that served as a motivation for me to write this letter today, and the one I now want to share with others:
If all of us humans, instead of blaming a Devil for all the evil, harm, and wrong that exists in this World, could only take responsibility for our own ignorant thoughts, actions and ways of living, how would it change this world?
If we knew there is no one to blame but ourselves and our own ignorance, would it change this world for better or for worse? And how would it change and evolve us, ourselves?
So now the time has come for my readers to choose which side to take and how to perceive this message above: as "devilish" - with superstition, fear, anger and judgement that arise as they read it, or as a message of light, that will open minds and hearts for more love. We all have a choice in this.
Love,
Nina